Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Week 3 - Meeting The Bugs (FYI: No photos)

Was it too good to be true? You betcha!

So after two weeks of acclimating to the war torn cityscape, the pollution, the language, the limited access, the heat, the stench, did I mention the pollution - finally the bugs have come out of hiding to properly welcome me. And I trust a bigger welcome is on the way once rainy season is in full downpour mode!

Luckily, we arrived in the dry season of winter - so yes it is hot, dry, and dusty, but this keeps bugs like mosquitoes from trying to carry me away and party on my fresh blood like it is 1999!

Unluckily, there are still plenty of bugs! Of course, working in the garden, I am used to bugs, and ants etc... I have noticed the various ant lines throughout the yard, certainly the lizards would not be around if not for all the tasty morsels. That ants seemed "normal" enough small black. But, maybe I should have noticed their speed as they darted around on the sand and surfaces.....hmmmm.

So it wasn't until I was arm deep in dirt, sand, and weeds that my arms and hands started to itch. Thinking it was the sun and sand I worked on. Later, after my shower I realized my error - as I had little red bumps all over my arms clear up to my elbows... ahhh. A lovely welcome from the garden ants - surely I will be better tomorrow (when I SPRAY THE HECK OUT OF THE GARDEN, revenge can be sweet).

Then the little black spider crawling on my towel, hanging on the shower rod in the bathroom. Ah yes, little black spider, this is surely not my specialty, and I called in Dr. Vasireddy who proceeded to hunt down the little devil and beat the living $%^$ out of him. Another welcome that maybe I did not fully appreciate.

Of course the kitchen has a door so it can be isolated from the rest of the house which is good - because every night I put on my Orkin (TM) uniform and proceed to use enough bug spray to delouse the entire city of Monrovia. I know it works because a Friday morning a little fellow was under the cabinet with is little feet up in the air - ah good good. And that same day Mamie swept up a little lizard - which apparently means that my combinations of spray and voodoo are working. Vamsi, insists this spray does more harm to my nervous system than the bugs will ever do - HA - little does he know that's why I drink Tanqueray and Tonic every night - to prevent any harmful effects.

Of course, yesterday morning - things escalated and somehow I managed (by accident - yet maybe my subconscious had taken over) to move some pots around in the cupboard. In the morning I went t get a pan to make my breakfast - well attached to the bottom of my pan was quite a sight as half a "bug" was attached and the smell = the smell! AGAIN thank GOD for Mamie who arrived moments later and dealt with the whole situation - of course she had to explain everything to me even as I lay faint on the couch sipping water and thinking about all the options I have in my medicine closet to help me forget this moment - that will for ever be SEARED into my head - the stench of the city is sweet perfume compared to the smell of that bug - I pray for you, kind reader, that you never have nor will ever experience that smell.

Of course this experience, may pale to that of Vamsi's morning. As he rushed around to leave for work, he brought his messenger bag to the table to collect his laptop - as he opened the flap he found little white spider/ant bug thins teeming all over the interior of his bag - TEEMING. Both watched, incredulous of the image. I just watched as Vamsi started taking things out of his bag and laying them on the table. I finally snapped awake and said Vamsi take it outside OUTSIDE - and then he woke up and we both went into action - he raced outside to dissect his bag - and find the root or source of this evil - I ran for every form of bug spray we had - spraying myself on the way back to the front porch.mantle. On the front porch, Vamsi in his suit and tie, I in my pajamas fight the battle of the little white bugs - OMG - no screaming, no yelling, no time for prayer - just decisive action - removing articles from his bag, spraying each item and moving on . Finally Vamsi cleared his bag of all the little mutants and we sprayed his bag with a special "gear" spray. Oh yes we have sprays - SPRAYS - and yes dear kind reader, surely they are environmentally friendly - at least for THIS environment.

Of course, Monday night was the definitive evening of knowing I had to take better precaution against these Monrovian residents. Having a lovely dinner at Golden Beach with friends, we sit just a few yards from the ocean, watching the sun set, the roaring waves, the local kids flipping and jumping on the sand, when our friend Nancy yells, "Michael, pick your feet up out of the sand."  That's all I need to hear as I lift my feet and look below. There in the sand where I was digging my toes and feet in the sand, like on any beach is a CARPET OF BIG BLACK ANTS- A CARPET. Having hairy legs, the ants can surely make their way up my limbs and find it a cozy place to plant their little pinchers. Sigh, another margarita please, another margarita I order.

All this to say, its nice to be welcomed by all the residents of Liberia, it would not be the same if I lived here without such experiences. I have heard much worse from fellow expats - but they themselves have lived in Africa for so long that their diffidence on such experiences is shocking to me. Whilst the civil war here is over - I myself find that I am taking up arms to fight the battle against these combatants who do not realize there is a new Sheriff in town. I came all the way from American Midwest - and with me I bring a new sense of safety and security - surely a take no prisoner attitude is written across my face.

I do hope this is my last post regarding these combatant inhabitants - though I completely accept that it most likely will not.

2 comments:

  1. I made it to your wonderful, colorful, informative blog!!!

    ReplyDelete